are you so shy because you have an std?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
