went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
