just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
