you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
