is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
