Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
