Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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