well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
