i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
