i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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