so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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