awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
