Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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