I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
