Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
