I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
please come you make the beer taste better
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
