why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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