I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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