i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
