it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
