oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
nutella sex= disaster
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
