I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
