i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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