Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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