the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
