i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
