we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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