just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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