So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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