Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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