ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
