Small penises have feelings too.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Randomize
