he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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