I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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