Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
