Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
