Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
id be glad to
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
