pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
