come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
