theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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