wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
