I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
