maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am naked and annoyed.
is it fun? or sober?
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