Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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