We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
