Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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