She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
