Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
