i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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