Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
