what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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