I want to have your abortion
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
