my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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