I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
